Priya Parker Project Step 5: Dwindling Cash Experiment

"Hello? That's money callin' me!"

This is my experience with step 5 of Priya Parker's Reboot project. 

STEP 5 (Finance)-  Dwindling-Cash Experiment:  To check how much money is enough money for you to live a normal life. In this experiments you first note down how much money you spend on yourself per month (not how much you earn) . Take that amount from bank and put it in an envelope. Then divide it into 4 parts (40%, 30%, 20% and 10% of total).  Then expose yourself to 4 different money parts one in each week. Start with 40% money for first week, then 30% in next week, etc. Note down what you did in each week and how did you manage e.g.  live with this much money for one week each to know how much money is sufficient for you/your habits/constraints/spending pattern, mind-set, etc. Find out what amount you are comfortable with and live on. Build a financial model and see how much you need to “reboot” your life.

I will tell you upfront I did not follow through and divide 1 month's worth of earnings into 4 parts and follow Priya's instructions. It was much too difficult and I really did not like the idea of spending A LOT of money in one week just because it says to. Instead, what I did was analyze my spending habits in my bank account from January until mid September. It is obvious that I spent money a bit more freely when I had a lot more in my savings than I do at the moment. For those who don't have a lot of money up front to do the Priya project like she says, this may be a manageable way to run a dwindling cash experiment.

January 

In January I took two trip to Palm Springs with my bff and Vegas for a bachelorette party. We did spa days and went to a Chippendale's show, and spent money eating and drinking well. I noticed that I ate out significantly more and frequented the higher-end grocery stores more often than I would like to admit. And to buy what? I don't remember, but I'm sure it was tasty. I also had my hair done with red extensions as a "happy I'm not working anymore" gift to myself. No, I will not disclose how much that was. Sorry, honey!

February

The Seahawks lost the Superbowl. I bought some new gear and hats for me and my husband before the SB. I also started buying a bunch of craft stuff to start on a project for St. Patty's day. I spent money on an online analytics class. Did a few trips up to Seattle and spent money on wedding gift and bridal shower gifts. 

March

I was in Seattle a lot. For a wedding, to see my family, and spend time with some friends. I contemplated the idea of looking for a job in Seattle and moving back. Portland is a tough market to crack into. I had a few job interviews that resulted in pretty bad rejections. I knew I still had a lot of work to do in order to be hirable in Portland. However, if was hard to shake off the rejection. I also spent money on a St. Patty's day excursion with my friends and made rainbow shoes and orange and green kitty accessories. Staying crafty really helped me through my tough transition into looking for a job again. 

April

This month was my husband's birthday, so I decided to throw a lip sync battle party and provide some food and booze for the guests. It was a lot of fun and, wow, the house was a disaster the next day. Luckily, Ian felt better enough to help me clean the house the next day  so it wasn't a mess that we had to deal with all week. We may have gone out to dinner a few times as well. We also traveled to Ian's best friend's wedding in Plano, Illinois. Our second wedding of the year. Good times!

May

In May I went to Colorado to meet up with my best friend and her pal for a girls weekend. By this time I had gotten a few more job rejected and feeling pretty low. Although I kept applying, my heart really was not into anything so I concentrated on meditation and  bought/ read books on energy work, soul purpose guidance and more. As silly as it sounds, the more I realize our out of touch I am with the present, the more stress and anxiety I tend to hold. I also noticed how shallow my my everyday breaths were. I still have a problem with this, but at least I started waking up to these things and am making an effort to connect with the earth.

June

Wedding number 3 in Chicago! That meant more flying and buying food, Ubering all over the place, etc. I did buy a new dress, purse, and also bought paints to update my shoes to match my dress. I vowed to myself not to buy another dress for the next 2 weddings coming up. At home, we stopped eating out so much and I started buying less organic foods and meats. My husband and I also worked on our backyard garden to make sure we had some fresh veggies to supplement our grocery bill (which is around $100/week for 2 of us).

July

This summer, we went to the beach way more than we normally do. It's  something I have mentioned to Ian many times that I wanted to do more often. The temperature is generally 10-15 degrees lower at the beach than in-land. It is the perfect getaway spot when the temps are rising in Portland. July 4th weekend, we took a gamble and went into the coastal mountains to find a camping spot, and we got super lucky! That didn't cost us much except for food and one meal out . Then our friend invited us to a weekend beach house trip in which we contributed food and booze to the communal eating/drinking space. Good times!  We also did a family camping trip to an island in the Colombia. We did a follow up trip with friends at the same spot. Again, most of my money went to food for these trips and covering my bills.

August

In August we went to a wedding (our fourth one) and I helped with their flowers and was in charge of the tear-down check list. Then we did a family trip to Copalis Beach. Spent money on food and wedding gifts. I also spent money on two concerts. One was $10 bucks to see the Physics, a Seattle band, and the other was to see Lindsey Sterling. Her tickets were $40/each and a bit pricey for my budget, however, it was much cheaper than when I tried to find tickets to her show in the past. I also spent money on materials to make costumes for a drag costume birthday party. I dressed up Ian as the Portlandia Statue, and I was Poseiden, and Cooper was a pretty princess. We won first place. It was a lot of fun. When I have a vision I generally tend to see it through and for the most part, I was happy with the results. I did forget to mention that I did spend money on sewing classes and also materials in July. It was intense, but I really learned a lot about the basics of sewing. I hope to take those classes again the future when I have more money and time. We did not go out to eat except when friends wanted to go out.  The garden was growing so that cut my food bill to around $80/week. That was nice. I also did a quick 2 day trip to Seattle to see friends and my sister. Spent money on travel, food to cook for a dinner, and a meal out. Our anniversary is in August and we kept it fairly low key with dinners at home and maybe Ian treated me out to dinner later on. I can't really remember. I also recall my drinking habits significantly slowing down over the course of the summer. I don't really know why, but drinking for taste and complimenting the food I eat is really all I do. Drinking to loosen up or get a buzz doesn't appeal to me anymore. I find myself ordering a glass of wine or beer or one cocktail and that's it. Makes me more of a cheap date, which Ian loves LOL!

September

Since September is still going, I decided to only document a few things. I did buy a new electric bike, and we haven't really been spending too much money on groceries. Maybe closer to $70/week. We went to a lovely wedding (our fifth) in Mt. Rainier and paid for gifts for the bride and groom. I went on a 90s boat cruise with some girlfriends with the Groupon rate of $12. Didn't drink at all because the cocktails were $8 bucks! yikes! Did spend money on Uber to get around but the girls chipped in to pay so it's all good. I also spent money to put Cooper in doggy daycare as we are about to go on a road trip, and I hired a dog walker to take Cooper out for walks 5/days a week while Ian and I are at work starting the 28th. I haven't made payments on that, but it will hit my wallet at the end of the month.


So overall, I do notice that my spending habits and my eating and drinking habits did change a bit due to being on more of a tight budget. We did not go out to eat as much, and I even stopped buying treats for my dog. He has to eat his regular food for treats, poor thing. I was still able to do many things I enjoyed (within reason). I stopped buying clothes after June. Even the thrift store was off limits. I inventoried my existing clothes and separated them based on work appropriate and casual wear. I have been spending mostly my unemployment check each week. Not the whole thing, but certainly a lot of it goes to food and bills and small things. Do I think I could live off of the amount I get on unemployment forever? No. I don't feel comfortable at all. It would be really painful and even more sacrifices would have to be made to live off of it. I am lucky that I don't have to  be on my own, but if I was, I certainly would feel a lot of anxiety and stress during this time.

Realistically I think I could get by on perhaps $600 a week after taxes and be ok. It could feel comfortable and I could save at least $50 to $100 a week possibly. I would still need to work on lowering the grocery budget and modify my social habits a bit. It would be a bit tougher to travel on this budget, so I would have to wait longer in between vacations to plan some good trips. 

I have been talking with some friends and family about a new perspective on how to find happiness without getting burnt out n the rat race. If I were to go back to work, at what cost does the added stress add to my family? I am still pondering that. All I know is that happiness and health is priceless. You can't buy it. If health can be bought, Steve Jobs would still be alive today. If happiness can be bought, then people at the poverty level around the world would never smile or laugh or be thankful. But that isn't the case at all. Having had the opportunity to travel to different places, I notice how simplified people's lives are. They have significantly less consumables in their homes. There's no gizmos or gadgets for everything in life. They make do with what they have and what their community and help out with, or help their community with that they have. There's an internal struggle I have: to want nice things and experiences at whatever cost it takes, and to want the simple and frugal life. It's hard to have both sometimes. I am very fortunate to be married to someone who is very fiscally responsible and helps me to be realistic with money even when old habits tempt me. If we can't eat as many fancy cheese and crackers as we used to, we won't shrivel up and die. But I want to not cut them out of my life forever.

So what do I think of this modified Priya Parker Project? Possibly a failed one. Possibly an eye opener.  It raises more questions than answers for me.

The Priya Parker Project - Step 1: The Obituary

This morning I woke up excited to write my obituary. That sounds weird doesn't it? I googled how to write a proper one, and of course, looked up Steve Jobs's obituary for some inspiration. At one point in his life he had to make a drastic decisions to live his dreams. He did that by quitting college and going straight into the tech field and the rest is history. Hopefully, I am brave enough to make drastic decisions that sets me on the path towards my dreams. 

Although Priya Parker says to write only 600 words on paper, I want to just free flow and see where the ball lands. Hope that's ok with you. So this is not a proper obituary.  It's me afterall. And I am far from proper. Enjoy!


Esther Anh Dao Siuha Rmah LaVielle, a citizen of the world, has died at the age of 99 in Lyon, France on **/**/**** (I don't want to do the math right now). The cause of death was from old age and she passed peacefully in her sleep next to her husband of 70 years.

Esther was born in Seattle, Washington to Blot and Duang Rmah and lived most of her childhood in Mountlake Terrace, WA. Growing up she enjoyed car camping trips with her little sister, Christine, and her parents. Her dad would drive the family all over Washington, Oregon, and parts of Canada. Her particularly favorite memory was when they missed the black ball ferry from Victoria BC to Port Angeles, WA, and had to sleep in a random camp site in their van while eating sardines and hot cheese. Esther had dreams of becoming a financial planner and started her college career at Shoreline Community College, then transferred to Western Washington University into the finance program. Once she got there, she became bored of finance and discovered she really enjoyed management and marketing classes. The creative and fun aspect spoke to her, so she switched majors and graduated with a Marketing degree in 2003. In 2005, on her 25th birthday, she met her husband, Ian, at her birthday party through a mutual friend. They did not hit it off until 6 month later when she moved to Seattle. Three and a half years later, they would get married at a beautiful garden in Camas, WA, surrounded by the best of friends and family. 

One of the major events and activities that heavily influenced her life was music. Her parents pushed her into playing piano, and from there she started sing, playing the flute, trombone, drums, trumpet, and saxophone. When she was in her 20s she met a good friend, Ivan, and they formed Ductape Productions, and began making and selling beats, and producing music for several aspiring artists in the Northwest. They even did shows around Seattle and had a small following on social media pre-Facebook era. Although the dreams to take it to the next level were there, real life and bills had to get paid. So both members abandoned the dream and reality set in.

One of the biggest and proudest moments in Esther's life was when she paid off all of her school and car loans within 9 years of graduation. There were points where she had to take a few second jobs just to afford paying all the bills and living on her own. There were many times she can physically see that her bank account was down to the very last $5 dollars with 3 more days until pay day. Eventually she found herself working evenings at a marketing research firm part time, and instantly things began to click. From there, they offered her a full time position, and Esther started her project management career. Not really knowing why, but surveys, data analysis, and sharing results, coming up with conclusions, and making decisions based on analytics became a strange yet lucrative passion. This stuff was fun to her!  Eventually, with the support of her loving husband, she left the research firm and found herself at a market research software  firm where her experience made a huge difference to the existing platform. Her new position allowed her to become 100% debt free by 31 years old and also save up plenty of money for retirement and trips to France, Croatia, Colombia, and more.

At the age of 33, after  getting struck by lightening and having emergency surgery, she realized that the stress was wrecking her body and soul. It took all of 2014, but she managed to leave her cushy job, and dove into exploring what made her heart sing. Taking all the messages,and going through the Priya Parker Project helped her see that she will always be a kid at heart desiring to have fun in any situation. Whether it's making good money or personal time, it's ok act a fool and just live and be your true self. They say that time flies when you are having fun, and Esther lived passionately to have fun as much as possible and be exactly what people see in her: A Genuine and honest person who thinks that getting ahead in life by being fair, respectful, and with your dignity in tact is the best way to live. To see  and experience the world from as many angles as possible. To revel in sharing memories with loved ones. Whether it was with herself, with her close knit family and friends, or even laughing with perfect strangers, her smile and outlook on life remained that way until the day she passed on. 

Esther is survived by her husband, Ian, and their two kids, Stargazer and Lily, and grand children Sage, Willow, River, and Axel, her sister Paster Christine Rmah Ricardo, brother and sister in law, Todd and Alex, as well as her closest friends from around the world, as well as as their beloved dog, Cooper the 5th. 

The service will be held the Bremerton ferry where her ashes will be laid to rest in the Puget Sound in Seattle, WA. After that she demands that everyone eats, drinks, and listens to all of her favorite hip hop tunes and other music at an ear ringing decibel. 

All memorial donations should go to the grandkids of Esther, or you can also donate to the Arbor association and plant trees in honor of the LaVielles.

If anyone wants to go on this journey with me you are more than welcome!, I wish you all the best this universe has to offer.

Check out the video in the link below.

PRIYA PARKER: Quit Your Life & Reboot

The Priya Parker Project: The Back Story

It's been a month since I quit my job. A job that I had passionately loved.  A job with incredible coworkers. I was good at my job and it made me good money that I got to travel around the world with and pay off $60k in car and school loans. A job that gave me a lot of flexibility to work from home in Portland. 

But something was missing. Be it some growing pains, office politics, or the fact that I was not in the office regularly - which makes you the last person to know about anything, somehow the need for me to have fun at my job began to allude me. I can pinpoint exactly that time I started to lose that fun feeling. August 7th, 2013. Three weeks after getting struck by lightening on a rooftop deck in Seattle, and a week after recovering from emergency surgery. I remember myself getting admitted for an inpatient hospital stay, and the first thing I told my husband was, "Call my bosses and tell them I will be missing work." I was in so much pain and yet all I could think about was all of the work piling up the following week. When I finally opened up my laptop, after a week of recovery, I wondered why I even stressed out so much? What am I doing to myself? How did I let all this stress almost kill me? Is this really how I want to live? Shit still went on without me. My coworkers picked up my workload. My accounts got handled. Life went on and continues to goes on.

By January 2014, I started feeling like a person going through the motions. My husband and I were trying to have a baby, and that stress along with work stunted any joy I had inside of me. I started going to therapy to talk about it, and he made me realize that I didn't take long deep breathes when I spoke about my job and that I need to start changing the way I thought about things. And he was right. Little did I know that it would take me the entire 2014 to really start changing my thoughts and my attitude towards what I want from life. Along the way I met with a career coach, Aubrie, who helped me understand why I needed to feel like I am having fun and and encouraged me to explore more with what brings me true joy. When I was in Medellin Colombia in the fall, I met Jade, who was from Seattle (small world right?),  and she taught me about about the power of affirmations and living life as though you already have everything you need because the universe will provide. Even then, I still felt like I was standing on the diving board looking down at the water knowing that I needed to jump. That I have to jump. That there were no other options. But I didn't really know when to do it or if I was ready to dive into the water.

After coming back to Colombia, some things at the job unfolded, and somehow I am now blessed with this time off. I had been working 11 years straight with no real break, and now I can actually sleep in and relax without any deadlines and upset accounts calling or emailing all hours of the day. I'm not going to lie. Going from 45-55+hr day/night work weeks to zero responsibilities is shocking. Although I am using this time to learn new things, I still feel bored at times. There were no schedules or deadlines to meet. Five years at the same job going 100mph nonstop to nothing requires a lot of detox.

Early January I went on a vision quest with my best friend. She, herself, had recently made huge life decisions and moved to LA to give her daughter a real shot at becoming a child actress. So it was her brave energy that I needed to be next to after taking the plunge into unemployment. I recall being in Joshua Tree National Park and the rocks whispering things to me I was not ready to hear but needed to listen to. The next day we did a cleansing ceremony, and more messages came to me. Again, I was not ready to accept it. When I got home, I spoke to my friends and family and they all said the same thing.

"Who cares, Esther? Just do it!" 

And I wanted to do it. But the fear. The fear was holding me back. Correction: IS holding me back.

After a box wine and karaoke night, a friend sent me Priya Parker's Youtube on quitting and rebooting your life. Call it divine intervention, but it is exactly what I need to do right at this moment in order for me to take the messages I have been receiving and put it into good use.

There are 7 steps to rebooting I will be documenting on my blog  for the next few weeks.

STEP 1 (Mental & Emotional level)- Take the obituary test and make sure you pass: Write down your Obituary on paper. Answering basic questions like; how do you I want to live my life? etc.

STEP 2 (Mental & Emotional level) – Passion comic strip: What passion do you have? Interview 5-10 close people ask them When they have seen you happy? Draw on paper cartoon series about your passion and thing you wish to do or did till now.

STEP 3 (Physical & Emotional)- Get comfortable with this concept: Build your muscles for discomfort i.e. get habituated with awkward and humiliating situations in life! Just for the experiment she has suggested following 3 crazy ways -

(a)      Start singing in public places when in queue or standing. Notice your emotions inside  the body (heart),and feelings while doing this.

(b)      Go outside for dinner alone (habit of staying alone), without reading  material, mobile or anything to entertain

(c)      Stand-up facing back towards door in a lift (different from others)

STEP 4 (Mental & Emotion)- Life Sentence: Give yourself a life sentence, like many organization and companies generally have their mission and vision statements. Ask questions like, What do I value? What is purpose of my life?,etc see below:

A. What are the qualities and values that I bring with me (regardless of family or at work)?

B. What is that I actually Do?

C. Why I do all this? It is most difficult but important task. It helps in analysing your life and help you to make future decision-making about life

STEP 5 (Finance)-  Dwindling-Cash Experiment:  To check how much money is enough money for you to live a normal life. In this experiments you first note down how much money you spend on yourself per month (not how much you earn) . Take that amount from bank and put it in an envelope. Then divide it into 4 parts (40%, 30%, 20% and 10% of total).  Then expose yourself to 4 different money parts one in each week. Start with 40% money for first week, then 30% in next week, etc. Note down what you did in each week and how did you manage e.g.  live with this much money for one week each to know how much money is sufficient for you/your habits/constraints/spending pattern, mind-set, etc. Find out what amount you are comfortable with and live on. Build a financial model and see how much you need to “reboot” your life.

STEP 6 (Mental) – Help Somebody else: Identify 5 different friends/person who are doing different and interesting jobs. Ask them whether you can spend 1 hour with them to solve any of their difficult problem in their business. It will build habit , how can I help others and  realize which problems you can/can’t solve ( your strength weakness analysis).

STEP 7 (Mental & Emotional) – Social accountability & PR:  Invite your 7 ‘close’ friends and tell them about your plan of quitting current job and rebooting life. Note their Suggestions and reactions. This will help you to know about your Social accountability and PR groups practice.

If anyone wants to go on this journey with me you are more than welcome! I was going to start right off with the obit, but realized I wanted to document the back story for my own reading in order to see the progress being made. That's the project manager in me doing it.  LOL! For anyone going through a similar journey, I wish you all the best this universe has to offer.

Check out the video in the link below.

PRIYA PARKER: Quit Your Life & Reboot