Should We Blame Marketing for Bad Romances?

OK let's set aside all of the daddy and mommy issues for now and dive right into my title question, "Should we blame marketing for bad romances?"

Everybody knows that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. A survey conducted by the Pew Research Center last month found that of the 2,691 Americans surveyed, 39 percent thought marriage is becoming obsolete, up from 28 percent when Time magazine asked the same question in 1978. Many say a lot of these attitude changes are a result of cultural changes in our society but as a socially conscious marketer I have to wonder if we can prove that past marketing efforts made by companies have affected people's opinions on romance and relationship expectations. The bigger question would be how badly has it effected people's opinions on romance and relationships?

The other day at the gym I caught an episode of "Millionaire Matchmaker." A millionairess who's made her fortune being on the cover of romance novels (female Fabio) came to the Patti Stanger, the millionaire matchmaker, to help her find her "prince charming." She was an attractive and very fit women in her 40s with just a bit too much botox on her forehead. As she spoke more and more I thought she sounded quite delusional as though he was reenacting a scene from a Disney movie. She thought she had her fairytale wedding but got divorced and she's now a lost princess in search for her handsome prince. Though I do not have a degree in psychology clearly this women needs some serious therapy before putting herself back on the market. The show ended with her finding a younger man who owned a security company who took her on a fairytale date in Central Park. Throughout the entire show Patti the matchmaker kept saying, "Romance is still alive, chivalry is not dead!" Good marketing for her services right? Sure, but the other message is to hold on to your princessy dreams waiting for that perfect man. Same goes for all the other romance shows like The Bachelor/Bachelorette, Blind Date, Rock of Love, and more. Sorry but nobody's perfect and all this expectation is going to lead to serious disappointment down the road.

Let's look at another factor that contributes to the bad romance epidemic: The "Bad Boy" effect. You know who they are! The ones who asked you to skip classes and hang out at the movies, the ones who act a bit mysterious and distant. Yeah, I'm also talking about that guy at the bar who promised to call you and take you out on a nice date but only calls you after 10:00 PM asking if you want to hang out. I don't think women were completely drawn to assholes until it was sensationalized in movies, music, and other media outlets. Women in their early 20s are encouraged to have fun with Mr. Right Now only to find their hearts falling in love with the unemotionally available asshole. I've seen way too many of my girlfriends stay with Mr. Right Now even though they candidly admit the man is not good for them. Even I have personally experienced this in the the past as well. Should we blame the girl completely or can we say she is a product of her environment and that includes a daily attack of advertisements that portray an ideal lifestyle?

Obviously there are many other factors to consider when looking at the bad romance conundrum. Careers, families, finances, personal experiences, etc. all have a role in picking out the type of mate you want right now or the rest of your life but I believe the influence and effects of marketing in this sector of life has been severely under-rated far too long. In the end those who search for the ideal mate portrayed in marketing campaigns will be left broken hearted and alone...just like Jillian and Ed from The Bachelorette (picture above).