Thursday, November 3, 2011

How to Navigate "Hater Nation" On the Internet


Maybe it's just me, but does anyone else feel like there's so much hate on the internet? Just look at a couple of random YouTube videos or news articles and there's always at least one or two negative comments to read. If you are Kim Kardashian, you are probably getting at least 90% + hateful comments for every article written about you since the celebrity divorce announcement on Monday. Sorry "doll," but it must really sucks to take Ashton Kutcher's place as the most hated celebrity right now.

So where is all this hate coming from? Why do people love to hate on others? Why is it important to pay attention to groups of haters? Is there a way to turn haters into happier fans?

Let's look at a couple of reasons. Thanks to technology and the media....

1) Hating on the internet is easy to do because you can be completely anonymous while writing a bunch of nasty comments. People may feel more comfortable writing out what they feel instead of saying it in person.

2) You don't have to login as the same profile. You can create multiple profiles on the same or multiple sights and nobody can find out who you are in real life.

3) A group of haters in a forum can really do some serious damage to one they please to single out. A sad but very real example is a group of school kids bullying others on Facebook resulting in physical harm or, the worst, suicide.

4) Social networks and media outlets create spins and drama in order to provoke readers to hate. According to some celebrities being hated is as good as being loved. This means they stay relevant and make can leverage to make money. We see companies and politicians provoking viewers to hate on certain people, political agendas, and products as well. Pepsi vs. Coke, Democrats vs. Republicans, Sprint vs. AT&T vs. T-Mobile, etc..the list goes on and on.

5) It's hard to know what's real and what's fake on the internet these days. Media coverage has turned into an all-out cat fight of personal opinions and political agendas. New articles can sometimes be disguised as promotional tools. Sometimes we find ourselves passing along information that turns out to be untrue and that can cause some riffs between family and friends.

I do want to note that not all hating is bad. Look at Egypt, Libya, and Tunisia. Many decades of tyranny were overturned in less than a year due to social networks of haters who passionately wanted to change their countries for the good. Though these countries still are far away from their ideal dreams, the people of those countries were able to channel their hatred into an effort to provide their families with better opportunities in the future. Another great example is "Occupy Wallstreet" movements throughout the world. Many people in the lower to middle class are angry with the lack of wealth being spread across, record student loan debts, massive foreclosures, and budget cuts for services to the needy. I believe this movement will spark a pivotal role for the American government and its people, as well as around the world.

We can't prevent a person from having their own opinion. As a company or a person we can't please everyone we come in contact with. Doing so would run your business to the ground or become emotionally taxing. But I do want to offer some ideas and suggestions that will build your own confidence, be able to carefully listen to what viewers or customers are saying about you, and find a path of peace that includes a resolution that is very sincere, conscientious, and mindful of the affects your words and actions have in this world.

1) Become an effective listener. Unfortunately we can only cocoon ourselves from negative feedback for so long. It's really sad to see some people are quite delusional about their situation and refuse to hear the truth. It's important to be someone who can listen to criticism as well as compliments and find ways to improve your weaknesses as well as grow your personal strengths. This is easier said than done but it's something we need to strive for constantly in order to balance oneself. By being able to listen to good and negative comments will give a person or their company a chance to reflect and put themselves in other people's shoes. Can you see what they mean or not? Keep asking yourself this until you can.

2) Not all hate comments are helpful comments. There's a difference between hateful and critical opinions. Learn how to differentiate the two. Simply calling Kim Kardashian a dumbass skank isn't going to be as helpful as someone who says, " Hey Kim, that was not nice of you to announce your divorce to the media before speaking to your soon-to-be ex-husband. You need to respect him and see him in person. Give him the privacy he deserves to speak to him about this. There's no need for you to be hawking your handbags in Australia when your personal life is imploding." If you are the receiving end of hateful comments, really take into consideration the ones that are critical. They might be able to offer insight that can be a personal breakthrough for yourself and change the way you live your life or conduct business.

3) Teach your children and share with others around you how to navigate in a world of hate. Everyone might have a different way to do this, but teaching and sharing what you know might someday change the way people present information, and how people use the internet.

4) Don't be afraid to lay low, unwind, and reflect on your own self. Despite a lot of hate out there, the harshest critic can be yourself. It's important to work on your insecurities and find a way to love yourself for who you are. If you know where your heart is, no about of hateful comments can hurt you and take away your inner peace you've discovered for yourself.

Again, these are just suggestions to help you navigate this wild ride we call life. I'm merely a student of these words that were passed to me by my friends, family, mentors, and colleagues.

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