The Laws of Neutrality

Here is a picture of Dalat, Vietnam's version of the Eiffel Tower.  It is still used as a radio signal for the city. During the Vietnam War, Dalat was a neutral zone. Soldier from both north and south Vietnam as well as American soldiers used this city as a place of rest and relaxation. Acts of war were strongly prohibited and none of the summer homes of the colonel frenchmen from the early 1900s were destroyed. Now, this place is a national treasure and tourist destination in Vietnam. It's known to be the city of love and the place for honeymooners. It is the home of the only wine made in Vietnam, and it is the only area that grows strawberries, artichokes, and other vegetables we can find in our own backyard, etc. The weather is 20 degrees cooler than the rest of the country. French is spoken by some of the older vietnamese who still live here. It was one of my favorite places to visit while in the country.

While I was there I was incredibly amazed at how the people of Dalat were very proud of their french influence. It is very clear that anyone who lived in the neutral zone at the time were spared a lot of hardship in comparison to other neighboring cities.  Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there were tons of unknown war crimes, spying, and espionage occurring, but for the most part both sides of the army placed nice in Dalat.

My family's history were shaped greatly by the war, and as I get older I find myself thinking about it all the time. I see what my parents and my aunt had to go through to get to the U.S. and I wonder how much of their experiences has shaped who I am today.

My dad went to college in Dalat to study electrical engineering. When the war started, instead of staying inside of the neutral zone he went home to his family. When he got there he found out that his father was thrown in jail for helping American intelligence. Dad was given an ultimatum from both the north and south armies: Join the army or go to jail with your father.

So what did he do? He ran away to Saigon and spent all of his money on a ticket on a packed boat to the Philippines.  He wasn't sure what was going to happen but he knew this was better than joining either army. Every time I ask him about a particular time during the war his face kind of turns into stone. I never press further than this because you can see the pain he endured. No words need to express this.

One thing I realized that I take after my dad on is that he's very steadfast with his beliefs and sticks to playing fair. His life is built on principles that people who work hard should be rewarded and those who are trying to cut corners in a dirty way should own up to their actions. What you see with him is what you get. There's no two-faced politics to play with him. You are either in or out.

I recall several times while growing up that he was quite upset that he was passed over for a promotion. I never really thought about it until  I was passed over on taking on several interesting responsibilities at my position. Inside, I was sort of disappointed, but I knew that it was because the position would not play to my strength. The position required a person who knew how to maneuver well between several groups of personalities and positions and then make sure to reach a goal set forth by the owner of the company. I realized that in order to be in that position you need to be able to play for both sides of team, listen well, and also be able to build trust between all of the groups in order to make those goals. With every job there are politics involved and you need to be able to work through them to your advantage. Both fortunately and unfortunately for me, I realized I am terrible at being neutral and I really don't like office or government politics.   I'm very similar to my dad. My mind set is very " in or out" on a lot of situations.

It dawned on me at that point that this mentality that both my dad and I shared is both a blessing and a curse that governs our lives. It will be something I will continue to deal with in both my personal and professional life until I die.

On this note, I do want to reiterate that I am capable of compromises and negotiations. Although I am extremely stubborn, I do try my very best to try to stay open minded about people's opinions and actions in relation to my own. Trust me, it's not easy to do as each day is a new challenge. And I can see why others who can work through this better than myself would be called into positions of leadership or management.

The other side of playing on both sides of the fence is the two-faces you put on. For some this is easy to do. Personally I believe people who rise into roles of leadership need to be able to deal with different sides of the fence. Conjuring hope and motivation, working to earn your trust, but sometimes a little low on keeping promises at times. I know for a fact that this is not a game I can play. What you see is what you get. And if I get passed up on opportunities to take on new projects I may be interested in I guess that is meant to be. Afterall, my dad did not choose the neutral zone, and its in my blood to forego neutrality and stand firmly on the ground with my own research, thoughts, and gut feeling.